February 2009
43 posts
January 2009
57 posts
The Post-Grad Wasteland
i knew i'd be paying back my student loans until i died, but i didn't think they'd want this much each month
well, at least it's better than credit card debt
true. i mean, i have something to show for it. my stepbrother is in mounds of debt for buying laptops that he later broke/lost etc
definitely
of course, if i slip on a patch of ice and get a brain injury, i'll lose everything too!
eeek. what?
think about it...i spent 80K pimping out my brain, right? a couple of knocks to the head and that investment is gone, baby, gone
ahh.. yes. that would be bad!!
if i'd spent that much money on a house i could insure it, but i don't think there's insurance for an incompetent brain surgeon accidentally wiping out your four years of french studies or anything
haha. well you have health insurance
no, i don't
really?
isn't being a grownup fun?
1981 primitive Internet report on KRON →
Long before anyone had heard of the Internet, early home computer users could read their morning newspapers online … sort of. Steve Newman’s 1981 story was broadcast on KRON San Francisco.
Proto-aggregation. Awesome.
Fresh Air Is Overrated
at least you're going to colorado in the summer, so you won't freeze to death
very true. perhaps the mountain air will be good for me.
dude, i don't know...i went to arizona last spring break and got a terrible sinus infection, which i suspect was my body balking at the infusion of fresh air after two and a half decades in new york and new jersey
maybe I will become an active outdoor-y person for a summer
i'm trying to picture that...
haha. can I hike in heels?
should you? no. will you try? yes.
I had dinner with a friend of mine the other night who used to work for another paper in colorado. he was all excited about how the mountains are so close that i could drive up there and climb them before work in the morning. I think I choked on my falafel.
The Spoiled Jerk Brat vs The Prairie Dog
man, i feel bad because i think i was totally rude to you that first day...i just had no idea who you were or why you were talking to me
meh
well, now if i'm ever rude to you again, you'll know that it's intentional
good! jerk.
things you have called me today so far - spoiled brat, jerk
maybe you shouldn't be such a spoiled jerk brat
I'm Probably A Terrible Daughter
Dad: Oh, just to prove to you that pigs can fly, I now have a Facebook.
Me: (after an extended silence) I can't deal with this right now.
Dad: Well, some of my friends from the Masons started inviting me...
Me: I'm not going to friend you.
Dad: That's okay.
Journalismisms
"You had an orphan in your dek, so I killed it."
"Somehow, when you say that, I believe you."
AP Stylebook Lesson of the Day
“Mountaineer” is the suggested alternative for “hillbilly.”
Yes, we finally have a president who can drink,... →
(via blakeley)
Yes we can do saki bombs!
Why You Should Turn GChat Off While At Work
YOU WANT MY COCK IN YOUR MOUTH? [a minute later] jesus, wrong message. meant to send that to someone else.
[signs out of gmail, switches computers, signs back in] jesus, dude. i had my gmail open on my boss' computer when you started talking about your wang.
omg. i'm sorry. i hope you didn't get into trouble.
haha, no, luckily i was just going to pull it up to sign out before switching computers, but i was like, jesus! thank god my boss didn't pull that up before i signed out.
yeah, that must have seemed like it came out of nowhere.
um. yes.
the caps was unintentional.
yes, yes, the caps were the only unsettling part.
Blago's Two-Day Tour of Terror
Blago took to the airwaves, comparing himself to Gandhi on ‘Today’, swinging by ‘GMA’ to woo Diane with poetry, and allowing the ‘View’ ladies to tousle his formidable mane. That hair, that hair! If he was sitting next to me, babbling like a madman, I’d probably muss his hair, too.
Dance, Survivors, Dance!
This is awkward. And hilarious. But mostly awkward. I felt bad for poking fun at plane crash survivors, but not that bad. Love that Ellen gives them luggage at the end, presumably to replace the stuff they lost IN THE FREAKING PLANE CRASH.
The Best Inauguration Moments
How I spent Inauguration Day - working on a video mashup!
The Curious Case of Forrest Gump →
Finally saw Benjamin Button over the weekend and oh my god is this so true.
maybe i’ll have a studio warming party
great, just make sure you invite people in, like, shifts of four or five, or you're gonna have to start duct taping people to the ceiling by 10 p.m.
it's going to be hard for anyone to get lucky. there’s always the bathroom, i guess.
or it could devolve into a giant orgy...oh, wait, i assume columbia alums will make up the bulk of the invitees, so scratch that
yeah, not so much
Eye Editorial Meeting, Circa 2006
Wait, what part offended you? The implication that he fucked a donkey, the implication that the donkey got pregnant, or the implication that the donkey had an abortion?
All of it.
Fine, so we'll just go with the version where he fucked Bill O'Reilly.
Don't mind me, I'm hopped up on four cups of coffee.
That's okay, I'm hopped up on Adderall! (Entire room turns around.) Shit, was that aloud? AND really loud?
According to my friend, the only good reason to quit or turn down a media job right now is if your boss is, and I quote, “raping you every day.” It’s good to know where our collective media dignity bar is these days.
8:02 PM
still at work? when are you getting off?
who the hell knows
how is it? busy day?
well, a plane crashed about a hundred feet to our left, and the president is making his final speech, sooooo....
oh fun. you know what? i thought it was the guy who tried to fake his death at first, with the plane crash
oh geez
i thought he got out of the hospital and managed to get in a plane again.
ha!
i was like, wow! he's really trying
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Hoda Kotb Drinks and Drinks and Drinks →
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'And I'm Jeff Rossen. Go Fuck Yourself, New York.' →
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Blago Presser Just Shep Smith Yelling At His TV,... →
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"Duggar Style": 18 Puppies Born In One Batch →
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Amy Sedaris Discusses Naked Barbies, "Vitamin P"... →
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Griffin Vs. Clark: Dicks A-Plenty On New Year's... →
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Kathy Griffin vs. Dick Clark In NYE Hell-Off →
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well...who DID you make out with? you made out with a ren faire girl, i'm sure of it...something about an armchair...in a basement...?
that could apply to like four people
at the same time? impressive!
maybe...
jesus, i think i'd need some kind of diagram to figure out how five people can make out simultaneously. i mean, i could google it, but dear god, think of what i'd pull up.... it's the noses, you see. the noses would get in the way. so i suppose if we could find five people, remove their noses...can they be midgets, too? although that would just be cruel....you're already a midget and now you have no nose.
well, not EXACTLY simultaneously. there's switching.
no, no, i said simultaneous!
good lord, what ARE you talking about?
i was hoping you could tell me
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